The Restraining Order Tar Pit - Domestic Violence

Domestic violence in the household is a very real situation that is taken with utmost seriousness by the Courts.  The Family Law Courts in Riverside and San Bernardino have a very streamlined process for filing a restraining order, and in Family Law Jurisdiction the victim has a very low burden to prove physical/mental harm, or fear of immediate and imminent harm, or harassment by the other spouse.  

In my experiences representing both victims and alleged Respondent's in a domestic violence restraining order hearing, I have often found about one-half of the cases involve a suspected actor of violence who didn't  know when to walk away earlier before the violence occurred.

Did you know that a spouse that is a victim of domestic violence can get an order for spousal support along with the protection of a restraining order?  Yes they can, and (with my tongue planted in cheek I state this) sometimes the spouse is aware of this when they choose to pick a fight with you.

I have seen clients go to jail and receive a restraining order simply because they tried to physically defend themselves from the other spouse, or snatched a cell phone out of the other spouses hands, or even wrestling for a box of property they tried to prevent the other spouse from taking.  I can only shake my head and wish these clients had listened to me first.  

You fortunately are reading this blog before things have gotten out of hand.  If you are home with a spouse, and it is "one of those nights" where you know an argument will start...just leave the house.  Take a walk, see a friend, go to the church/temple of your choice, go to the movies, anything but stay in the house and participate in an argument.  Notice my suggestions do not involve the following:  do not go to a bar, drink with friends, or do anything that can potentially be used to later frame you in a restraining order hearing (drinking/intoxication can be a major player for domestic violence; see the following link on domestic violence and substance abuse here).

Some of my clients hire me before things get too out of hand physically.  These clients take my advice, improve their accountability, and make sure that if they take legal action, the other spouse cannot successfully pick a fight with the client in order to get a DVRO and support order against the client.

Some of my clients hire me after things get out of hand.  I represent clients at restraining order hearings as well, and have an excellent record of getting those orders removed.  For these clients, I cannot turn back the hands of time and warn them not to be in a position that will warrant jail time and a domestic violence order.  

But I reiterate, the best way to prevent a DVRO is to be educated, be smart, and don't allow yourself to be involved in a violent situation if a marriage is falling apart.  There is help out there, tens if not hundreds of resources that you can reach out to and get help towards "keeping a grip" on your life.  Don't fall "into the tar pit" of domestic violence, you will risk your livelihood, your family, and can financially cost you severely.